Rail!
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Rail To Consider More Ads
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By MaximumTacolord - 08-07-06
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Rail! Entertainment has begun noticing a trend in rivals like “the Onion” and “New Grounds,” with rectums spraying ads all over our screens. These respectable competitors often devote entire pages or cartoons towards paid promotions.
“We want to satisfy our fans. If that means we need to show which Hot Topic shirt will make them cool or which sites have the best illegal pictures of Erica Campbell for knuckle babies, I’m willing to do the work so my mother fucking wallet gets paid!” Michael of Rail! Entertainment said.
Michael has already signed a deal with Subway to change the burger Bob bought Randy in Episode one to a tasty low fat sandwich that’ll keep even the fattest of hobos in shape. In Episode Three, “When Coca-Cola is Refreshing,” Bob goes on an amazing adventure with two polar bears to find Billy the perfect Huffy Bicycle.
“The Bob the Ball action figures have already gotten rave reviews from the children making them in China. Just imagine what the rest of the world will think,” said Rail! marketing representative Satan.
“Currently the staff of Rail! consists of one unpaid volunteer, a slacking webmaster, and several others I’m pretty sure just use Mike for pong relations. If more bandwidth was focused on ads, consider the possible paychecks I could receive!” MaximumTacolord said between delicious bites of his Pizza Hut eight meat topping XXXL pie.
As of now, the Rail! staff is holding open negotiations with advertisers in an attempt to consider possible
financial directions.
“We’re always looking for new mediums and customers. And Rail! offers new ideas, we never would have thought to tattoo our logo on whores,” Microsoft spokesmen said. “But those boys really know how to think outside the box ethics built.”
“The advertisements have really opened new doors for these guys,” Lindsay Lohan said. “Usually they use local voice talent. But ever since Disney bought out their company and begun firing everyone working there, professionals like myself are able take Rail!’s dreams even higher!”
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