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Help Wanted:

By MaximumTacolord - 12-03-06

Rail Entertainment is committed to producing stuff that might make you laugh. Should you happen to not laugh, weíll cry for hours on end and stuff ourselves with ice cream until we donít have feelings anymore. We hate our staff, in fact, we think of them as family and hope to one day get as far away from them as possible. Each is an individual who probably isnít as talented as that guy who canít change your oil at the shop that does nothing besides change oil.

Now weíre seeking to add another bundle of heart crushing responsibility into our staff as our current writer is being aborted upon the completion of this article. Pretty much anyone who can use a word processor and hates the world enough to kill it with laughter will be not paid for this job.

As a member of our team, youíll pretty much be working by yourself, writing articles that will be put online and read by a phantom number of people. This position will be responsible for so much, that one day youíll probably be killed in a knife fight by a disgruntled web host who isnít wearing pants.


  • Writes in English
  • Has recently gotten out of a bad relationship and now seeks block out intense sorrow with anything else.
  • Think that Bob the Ball cartoon is so awesome, youíd kick yourself in the face with a hammer if you said something bad about it.
  • Ability to work through tough deadlines that will never be established
  • A Masters of Science/Arts in Literature or Physics
  • Strong Hatred for Astronomers
  • Unexplainable lust for Steven Colbert

Rail! is an Equal Opportunity employer - Even though we never actually ask about your race, color, or sex nor see it.





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