Entertainment > Docs >
Crap From My Personal Home Page™
This article refers to my old
Prodigy home page, which no longer exists.
Warning: If you've been to my
personal home page, chances are you've seen all this stuff before. Just
go about your business, and pretend you never saw this. Really. Stop
reading this. Damnit, I'm not joking! Go away! I mean it!
Still here? You can't say I didn't
warn you. Okay then, on with the... words I make by punching random
I'm currently on vacation from work,
meaning: I have lots of free time. Too much free time.
Anyway, I thought I'd bash out a couple more documents for this
site, but I couldn't think of anything to write about. Up to this
point, everything in the Docs section is recycled material, so why
stop now? Several pages of the Docs section so far have been created
by digging through my closets, CD's, and my hard drive for material,
with hardly any new writing on my part (This is referred to as being
"lazy" and "bored" - "lazy" as in:
"microwave dinners"; "bored" as in: "The
Here, in the continuing traditions of
"any useless text document will do", and "let's slap
something together real quick", is a sampling of some of the
weirder things I've posted on my personal home page. These segments
have been copied and pasted almost exactly as they appeared on my
On with the random garbage!
#1: Cranberry Mango Salsa
(Originally posted November 14, 2000)
Hello, and welcome to my nifty
little home on the web. First of all, my friends, I want you to look
at a holiday product that I came across. Try to look at it for ten
seconds without saying, "What the hell?" or laughing. I
giggled with boyish glee when I saw it.
is an actual product. I did not do this in PhotoShop. In case you
can't see the ingredients from this image, they read:
incredible salsa is made from Mangos, Incredible Cranberry, Sweet
Onion and Bell Peppers, Jalapeno, Cilantro, Lime Juice, Grapeseed
Oil and Seasonings"
Yummy. Around the holidays, when I throw up, I
expect my vomit to taste like egg nog, not cranberry
mango salsa, thank you very much.
They're charging $12.00 a pound for salsa created
for stoners, by stoners.